(Ms liao gave this to me during english lessons! Hhahas, she's really a nice teacher eh? ♥)

Too many things happen nowadays and i really don't know what to do. If i can, i'll just rather take a knife and stab myself and end everything tonight.. What are 'Friends'? I've asked myself many times repeatedly, and to me 'friends' just doesn't exist in my dictionary. They're just part of my life, whether or not if they come, stay or leave, i just couldn't do anything. That's just part of life right? Things just comes and go, but if they stay .. that just simply means they'll be yours forever. Have any one of you ever experienced before; you found out that your friends are betraying you, yet you're still smiling infront of them, pretending that there's no such things when you already know the truth? ; Or maybe perhaps, one of your bestfriend just made you lost the most important thing in your life, will you still forgive her when you know that she's the one who caused it? I really don't know what should i do .. but i just can't make myself to accept the truth .. Since there is always another side of the story and i've always choose to believe the other side of the story but now i just can't take it anymore .. I just have to accept the fact that i've no friends, no one to trust, no one who cares about me and no one to talk to ... Im just left with my sister and a girl who've been with us for the past 7 years. They're more than enough. They trusted me, they cared about me, we laugh together, we talks about everything. They're the ones who stayed. They're part of my life now. I've also wondered what are parents?
It may be a fact that they raise us up, taught us how to walk, taught us how to talk, taught us not to lie, taught us what is respect. So what?! Im still not close with my parents, i didn't talk to them about my life, how i felt and we hardly talk at all. Many times i really wanted to tell them what's happening, what im doing outside, how im feeling .. but silence took over the priority. Sometimes, they're just like strangers to me. They forget about my birthday ... yea? so what? It's just a date, nothing to celebrate about. Up till today, they don't understand me at all .. They blame me for everything and i don't even have the chance to explain. Is that fair? 15 years already .. i've always listen to them, try my best to be who they want me to be .. but they don't even know what i want .... They don't know anything about me, and im not happy at all. If only money can buy happiness, no matter how much it cost, i'll use my life to pay for it.

And back to today .. its the 10th day. I woke up late today, my phone alarm is just useless. Morning, during P.E lesson .. I was asking Hainee whether my phone was at the table and Mr Cheak just shouted at me infront of the whole class! I was damn angry so i shouted back 'i also not talking to you!' Then i was asked to do 20 push ups but who cares, i just sat there pretend that i didn't hear him. He somehow scolded me after the lesson. He asked me to look at him, i didn't want to so i just look somewhere else. Was fuckup so i stared at him when i was walking back to class. Lolols, i don't think its my fault thou. No point explaining to him, wasting my time only. Yesterday, something did made me happy. I don't know why, but i just can't wait to see him again. I miss him, i really do ...