To that unknown old man that i've scold today, im really sorry that i scolded you back so harshly at public, but i just couldn't tell you what's going on, i don't even know you. :/

I've lost many things that i couldn't get back ... trust, friends, memories and tears ... I lost something precious once, i don't want to lose it again this time. Have anyone of you tried to continue to smile even though you're not happy at all? Yeah, like me .. i pretended to be happy but actually im not. But what else can we do ? I always envy those people who've so many friends and even when one of them is gone, it also doesn't matter. Unlike me ... i can't afford to lose anyone of them, because when its gone, they'll just come back as strangers or enemies.. i never realized how unhappy i was until someone told me how happy i seemed .. For the past hour i've been sitting here .. typing, backspacing, writing, erasing, editing, thinking, staring into space and i just want you to know that ..

I know you'll be reading this ... and i really want to say sorry for everything that i've done that make you sad. I know that you're still very angry and upset ... I know you've many test and you're tired, sorry for being so selfish. But how long do you want to ignore me with those one word replies? All those faces behind those messages are gone .. I ask myself everyday, why aren't you happy and my answer is i don't know .. because you've stop telling me about everything .. Its unbearable but maybe if my heart stops, it wont hurt this much .. There's many things i want to tell you but i just don't have the courage to ... I blame myself for being so useless, so stupid, so irritating and so troublesome. I've always crave for your smile, because by looking at them ... everything will be okay no matter what. If you're the star, even if there's millions of them above, i'll still choose you. No matter what you've done, i'll never be angry with you, and if you ask me why .. the answer is because you're Bryan seto .. Only you will make me laugh, only you will make me worry, only you have those smiles, only you will look at me with those eyes and only you can make those tears fall..  I have no idea why my heart still beats but you were the reason why it did .. I'll do anything, as long as you're happy .. For now, if only i could wish for a unbreakable chain, i'll chain you with me. Can don't ignore me like this anymore .. ? D: