Live life to the fullest.

Awesome sports day at Bedok reservoir. Cross country was nuts, got 31st for 4km run?. Still think its not bad, I didn't stop for the whole journey. Then after I stopped at the finishing line, almost fainted because my vision was spinning ! My leg was aching badly for the whole day. I was supper hungry after running, so after the whole thing ended,  I went to Tampines 1 for lunch with Bella, Huiting and Fatin. Didn't went home that late because I still need to go back school for my results at 6.30pm. First time school having a mini buffet for parents while waiting, and I was like .. too bad my Dad did not attend this. Apparently, I passed all my subjects. Except for Geography, it pulled my overall combine humanities marks down to C5. So pissed off as I got an A2 for my social studies but I failed me geog' ! Luckily, my parents was quite pleased with my results. If not, I'm gonna get another scolding from them.

I'll love you for a thousand years ..

Sometimes you  just can't get over a person, and when you see him smile .. not because of you, it does hurts. When you suddenly realize you're just pretending you're over him to ease the pain of knowing he will never be yours .. You still won't regret any of your feelings or things you've did with him, because when you look at him, you'll see something different than what everyone else can see. When you're with him, you'll feel a feeling that no one or being anywhere else can give you. When you kissed him, your world around you melted. When he held you in his arms and rested his head on yours, You'll forgot everything but your world that was holding you. Even though all of them may see something in him that is so horrible, all you'll see is all the positive, and special moments that he ever shared with you. I'll be waiting for him ...

I'm not born to please anyone.

Hey people, you know what. I think I'm starting to love school more .. Even thou life without a perfect best friend maybe tough, but I'll get through these and leave my school without regrets. I'm ain't not going to care about those bullshits that made my tears fall. I'm so gonna chase after my dreams. During my form teacher class yesterday, my teacher, Mr Elfie told us to write a letter to ourselves 20 years later. I've been thinking through for quite some time and I wrote this.

Dear future me, I hope you'll be a successful person by now, not asking for more but just you yourself being able to earn a peaceful living without worries. Although I wished you was a professional make-up artist, that could paint a smile on someone else's face or a famous wedding dress designer, helping everyone to design their dream dress .. but if you're happier now not being any of these I still will be proud of you. Please continue to lead a good life on behalf of me now. I'll see in another 20 years.

And 20 years later, when I looked back at this letter. I think I'll flood my eyes if I really achieved these.

And lastly I want to share a documentary video with you all. Please be grateful to what you've now because

25,000 people die of hunger

EVERYDAY

so stop wasting your food and complaining that its not nice, watch this video below

It've been awhile since somone made my heart ache like this ....

9 months ago, when I was falling and about shatter. At that moment, I thought there is nothing left worth for me stay awake in life. I had friendship problems, family matters, school matters .... I'm so tired, as much like I'm half alive. However, there's this special someone, he picks me up, and shower me with care and love .. He showed me that what happened it's not that bad after all. I could not have been so strong without him. He's so important to me, I think I would not have the courage to wake up very morning to face school .. or any problems if I'd lose him .. School have been a hell to me, waking up every morning pretending I'm going to school happily, but yet I'm afraid. Afraid of being left alone. Everything was fine for us until recently, we had a fuss and quarreled .. I know its bothering him, as much as i do. Thou he pretended to be fine .. His voice on the phone was harsh, making me afraid of answering .. Then it became a misunderstanding between us. It's my fault ... he warned not to. But I'm very sorry for giving him all those nasty feelings. It hurts me too.. Last night, his last message to me made my heartache. I tossed around on my bed, couldn't force myself to sleep, kept imagining scenes.... then tears wet my pillow. I don't know how to explain, because everyone around me didn't trust me and it affected me deeply. No one trusted me .. so I started breaking every rules, betrayed my self-esteem. I really didn't want to .. but I'm conscious of what I'm doing, I stated my rules and regulations. I've never betrayed his love before, never I swear..... and even when I'm in my breaking down state, I'm still thinking of him, whether if he was asleep or not .. what was he thinking .. is he missing me as much as I do .. This morning I waited for him under my block hoping I'll see him walking towards me, and then send me to school. I know it's impossible but I still waited foolishly. He didn't appear ... So I decided walking to school, then I walked by his block. Looked up at the 10th floor and saw his room light was not turned on, I knew he was sleeping ... yet I stood there looking up his room's window for awhile .. then remembered the way he sleep, his looks and I walked off to school, holding up my tears. I was more of worried than sad, he didn't answer my call and reply me message for a night, it really bothers me. I was not able to concentrate in lessons. Then suddenly he replied, I was stunned at that message he sent. No words could describe, but I'll treasure that message, I'm not gonna break any rules again. ♡ Trying my best to gain back his trust.

As for friendship ....

Friendship problems have been bothering me since last year I separated from my friends ... it's hard to believe but true and in fact, I don't have friends. Can someone define *best-friends* ? I don't know what's the purpose of gaining trust ... because someday, someone, anyone and even the one you trust most may betray you. I force myself not to believe but i just couldn't ... It happened on me so many times till I let go. I'm so getting used being treated like fools. I tried thinking where or which part as a friend have i done wrong but I could not find any faults on my actions. I paid for their meals or treat them when they do not money, lend them when they do not have enough cash .. do whatever they asked me to as long as I could help. I never wanted them to repay all this and all I want from them is so simple but yet seems to be so hard for them ... I just want them to remember what I've done, unlike an unsung hero. Then the more I seems to help ... the more they took it for granted .. then it became a backstab. When I needed help, there's no one there for me. None to rely on. I don't wish to list them out ........ Imagine, yourself sitting alone in the middle of the class but the rest of them have their tables joined with their friends and except for yours? Being left out during recess, and when someone walked by and asked "Hey, why didn't you go for recess?" You'll just have to fake a smile and reply "Never mind, I'm not hungry you go ahead and have yours." However to truth was the opposite ... and definitely not because I'm not hungry, not because I don't want to go .... but because no one asked me along. I rather sit in class and wait till the bell rings than eating alone in the canteen while others sitting in groups .. It really hurts like hell .. Imagine them going out for gatherings but you're not even called .... There's more but I think I should stop typing .......

Picturing impossible moments in my mind every now and then.

Get bored of my blog post? Why not try starring at the picture below?

Do you see it turning?

 Don't worry there's nothing wrong with your eyes and definitely not the picture moving. Haha, it's actually our illusion (^^)

Nothings gonna change my love for you.

Pfft, Its P.E day every Friday! P.E teacher made our class ran 2.4. I passed, almost drop dead and now my legs are aching like a motherfuka, especially the thigh part. But, thanks god Its Friday! Baby sent me to school this morning and went for his army. School ends early, baby waited for me outside the school. Went home, shower and changed and headed out! We went for lunch at the coffee near our house because baby kept complaining that he was very hungry. Previously, my plan was to go shopping at Bugis with Huiting but she had a quarrel with her boyfriend, she was not in the mood, so I went with baby instead. We went to Bugis street and baby bought me 2 new clothes, a leopard print jacket and a new future shorts, and obviously he insisted to paid for it! Oh, and at Bugis Junction I pull baby into the neo-print shop, I insisted to take a few snaps before we went home, hehe. Apparently, I was too short la, my head couldn't reach the camera so I have to tip toe! Baby was like constantly giving the same face, don't believe? 

See !

Am I right?! Hehe, It's okay, I had much fun with baby today. In the mean time, I forgotten that I'm supposed to meet one of my online shop owner to collect my pentagon necklace at Cityhall :( Grrr, now I have to change the date with her again! Freaking troublesome can, credits to my forgetful brain .. So me and baby went back to Yishun, go over to baby's house for awhile and went back home for dinner ~

 

Okay woah, this is my result. Ain't really what I was expecting. I was aiming for at least an A ): I shall try harder if my teacher agree to let me retake !

(Sorry, just ignore my ART. I drop it last year, so they put me as absent)

You piece up my life.

Hello dears, have not been posting for quite a while. Time passed fast, its year 2012 now. School started for a week already and I'm getting my O level Mother Tongue result tomorrow, kinda nervous. Schedule for tomorrow is a little messed up. Apparently I end school at 1pm and I'm getting my result at 2pm but I'm suppose to report at Tanglin police station by 3pm! Yeah, so i was thinking just now how on Earth am i suppose to reach there from Yishun within such a short time? Hehe, thanks god.  I settled the time with my Investigation Officer just now, told him I'll be there earlier by 1.30pm and I'm gonna rush back to school by 2pm. Hopefully there won't be any traffic problems tomorrow. Ahh, and yes I don't want any counciling lessons too! Hmm, so today was 8th of January .. *giggle* It's me and baby's 9th month anniversary. Made him something special a few days ago, pfft, but i couldn't find a pretty frame for it. Grr... I guess I shall pass him the things without the frame ):